A year ago, i meditated. I met what can only best describe as a universal consciousness. The other descriptions i’ve come across that fit and resonate with truth would be Source.
My internal vision turned from black to blinding white, i could feel my consciousness expand and stretch to the edges of infinity till i couldn’t feel where it started and ended anymore. And i learnt how the things that divide us, whether age, race, gender are all very superficial. That when we are mean to another we are mean to an extension of ourselves. That every one of us is connected back to Source.
The description I have given people, if I had to give you a mental image, is that we as individuals are all standing, facing outwards, away from a giant ball of light. And attached to each and every one of us is a thread that runs back to this source, connecting us all.
I meant to talk about this later. After work was done. After school was finished, and there were no other distractions. But this has surfaced again and again. And I need to share. Before when I identified as Christian, I would put this down to a prompting of the spirit. Which is a story of itself.
This is my rationale to my Christian friends as to why I do not go to the church or identify with it. Yes, I am not incapable of imagining that what I describe as Source is another name for God as the church describes him. But what I experienced and encountered did not match what I have been taught to expect of God. Yes, yes, call me naive for expecting something of an indescribable being why don’t you. My point is that it does not match what I have been taught. If this truly is God, then be happy for me. Even if how I am encountering him is outside of the church.
There are other things that come with the territory, other experiences that I would share that would polarise the people I know and care about. Things that I do not think would be palatable. But for now, this is me i suppose coming out about why I no longer identify as Christian/Catholic.
People have told me in the past that I should not question the religion. That I would lose my faith if I did. I find it, and will always find this sentiment to be a trying statement. If you truly believe the religion and what it teaches to be real, then no amount of questioning should serve to prove it false.
Mon 3rd April 2017 9:24pm. penned
I don’t know why I’m called to share this now. But this feeling of needing to share will not dissipate. So fine. this is what it is.
I’m open to questions. and sharings. But I have no answers. Probably not the ones you are looking for. I am searching myself.
This is not an invitation to call into question whether I imagined the whole episode. Or whether I was dreaming. If that’s what you’re inclined to think, leave. I will not engage or tolerate conversation with you. At all. I will not have you or anyone sully what is the best experience of my life with ridicule. At all. I mean every word of it.