Elephants in the room.
“You can’t possibly want equal rights, I bet you don’t think girls should go to the army!”
I have no gripe against that. I’d be for it. You didn’t ask.
“Then why didn’t you join it! You could have, hmph, all high-and-mighty”
True, I was a coward. I didn’t want to be alienated from the rest of my friends. If all of us were going in together, I’d have been happy. Every time I tried to broach the topic with people, they looked at me like I was crazy and always talked me out of it; girls and guys alike.
“What about diamond rings! That’s a lot of money guys have to shell out for a useless rock!”
I agree. As do many people in my life. Down-payments on a house or stock investments are a much better use of the money. Diamond rings as a social obligation and marketing ploy by the industry should stop.
“It’s not fair that girls get a wider variety of clothes. And they can hide their flaws with make-up”
True, it’s not fair. Though it’s strange, that what appears as wings to one, can feel like cages to another. It can be liberating to some, it is also suffocating to others since it breeds a need to conform, and an alienation of those who fail to meet its standards.
“If you want equality, then why don’t you talk about men’s issues too!”
I’d rather not butcher up the scene with what I can only summize might be a man’s experiences. It’s like a hetro-male talking about period cramps, or childbirth, y’know? It’s one thing to be quoting from someone who has personally gone through the experience, it’s quite another to talk for another person directly.
“What about all the guys who have to hit the gym and drink protein shakes to meet these unrealistic standards of being completely toned and buff?”
This hyper-masculine image has been oversold by the media imo. Some people are into it, some people are intimidated by it. There are always different takers for different cups of tea. Protein shakes are frankly scary in terms of the health concerns associated with them.
From the female camp, I’ve seen people beat themselves up pretty bad over not fitting in with media-sold images either. People starve themselves, turn anorexic, bulimic.
Girls who can’t gain weight and are flat-chested are not any more immune from depression, self-harm, low self-esteem and suicidal tendencies than those who want to shed pounds.
And yes, neither are guys immune too.
penned. 24th April 2016 11:12pm
Elephants in the room. Midnight thoughts from a feminist.